Presence Process Report. Today begins week 2 with the conscious response, “I recognize my reflections and projections.” The morning breathing session was almost immediately filled with energy. The kind of energy that I feel when I am really excited about something. I realized that I have put a governor on that energy in a big way, and today I just let it come out. As it came out it also feels like anxiety, which I realize is the face of this energy when I don’t allow it to be expressed or when I judge the expression as not appropriate or for whatever reason hold it back…NO MORE!
Today a begin a love affair with myself. I realize that for far too long I have tried to love everything, even to the point of grasping for people or experiences, while completely neglecting the one that needs my love the most: myself. Sounds so narcissistic, which is probably why I have denied myself for so long; it is too ego-centered to love myself and therefor not appropriate. Now as I declare this love affair with myself, I can’t help but wonder what that looks like? Feeding myself ice cream every night to the point of belly ache. Obviously not, however on a more subtle level it is not so obvious. Giving myself what I want or need is part of it, but the other is really taking care of myself.
As I dwell on recognizing my reflections and projections, I realize that the greatest reflection of all is the totality of the external world being a reflection of my inner world. Anything I see outside of me that is not in harmonious alignment is simply a reflection of something in my inner realm that is not in harmonious alignment. To love myself by loving these discordant parts of me is to bring the world back into balance. I can save the world by saving myself. I can nurture the world by nurturing myself. I can truly give love to the world when I give love to myself.